Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
