Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
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he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
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sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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