FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
