you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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