He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
