I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
