Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
