Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
MIDGETS
????
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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