If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
