We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I have feelings that need drinking.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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