i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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