We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
