bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
