im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
