I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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