Dual....:-)
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
tell your sister to shave her snatch
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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