I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
