Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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