I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
