to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
