Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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