Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize