Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
