I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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