i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
