his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
