So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
