Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
