I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
