dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
