she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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