do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
