I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
