what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My cat gives me a boner
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
