Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
