she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I currently don't understand fingers.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
