nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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