Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
