it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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