your parents love me but you hate me
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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