The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Found your dick twin last night
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
