no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
