We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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