I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
