so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
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i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
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While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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