woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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