i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
