Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
