I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize