you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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