But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize