at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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