glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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