you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
