ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You pole danced in your parka.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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