This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
