I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
