You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
