I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
